procrastination?

Ironically, my post on procrastination is actually a month late. I blame the flu… I’ve learned the hard way that dealing with things when they show up instead of when they blow up saves untold hassle. Sometimes we don’t decide based on optimism–things will get better. At other times, we delay deciding due to fear…

Read More
unfairness sometimes works in our favour

Unfairness creates negative emotions and is a common cause of unhappiness and conflict. Think about how you feel when someone queue jumps or takes a double helping of your favourite food and leaves none for you or someone gets the job you feel you deserve. Reactions to Unfairness “Hard-wired” in the Brain Researcher Renee Baillargeon…

Read More

Random acts of kindness may seem an eccentric and inefficient way of making the world a better place. Yet research shows that as well as cheering up the recipients, the givers benefit even more. The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer someone else up. – Mark Twain What are “random…

Read More

People who won’t pay cause small business owners more hassle than any other issue. Years ago, my husband and I owned a quick print business. I hadn’t realised how much chasing payment impacted my life until I overheard my daughter (6) and a friend playing shops: “Now we’ll just close the shop and then I will…

Read More

They won’t talk. We keep going in circles…I can’t do anything.  As a mediator, I’m often asked ” But what can I do if they won’t talk to me? ” They feel stuck because the other people involved don’t want to talk. It’s frustrating and aggravating. And if you really believe that you can’t do anything,…

Read More
letting go of resentment Don't carry a grudge

Letting go of resentment is vital to healing. Yet it can be one of the hardest steps to take. We want others to see how much damage they caused. We believe they need to acknowledge our hurt before we allow ourselves to heal. So, most of us need to know why letting go of resentment…

Read More
conflict first aid

As well as being a mediator, I teach and write about conflict first aid. What’s that? Well, it is like medical first aid–simple steps that anyone can do to help a person in a bad situation. The aims of medical first aid are to preserve life, prevent harm and promote recovery. The aims of conflict first…

Read More
asking for help Ask, accept, acknowledge

I have a confession to make. I like many others am a help addict. We get a buzz out of helping others, and sometimes forget to let others have the chance to get that buzz. We hate asking for help but love giving. What do I mean? At a networking event, the delicious array on the…

Read More
preparing for death

One thing that amazed me when first I came to this country was the reluctance to talk about dying. Growing up in a developing country and working in the health sector,  death has been a part of my life both personally and professionally. Even people who seem to be okay talking about death in general, are reluctant…

Read More
Trust, broken promise

Broken promises break friendships, destroy marriages and undermine businesses. Yet every day, we hear I know I promised, but… I’m sorry I can’t do what I promised… The more you trust someone, the more their broken promise hurts. There is anger at the promise-breaker, and shame that we trusted them. We lash out, crawl away…

Read More