Posts Tagged ‘communication’
My Apology Is Not Accepted: Now what?
How do I feel when my apology isn’t accepted? Years ago, in a conversation with a good friend, I inadvertently said something that obviously upset them and the conversation ended abruptly. Mystified, I phoned back on several occasions and started to apologise, however, it was obvious that talking on the phone wasn’t an option. Upset,…
Read MoreHow To Reduce Misunderstanding
Reduce misunderstanding–is that possible? Most of the conflicts I deal with as a mediator start with a misunderstanding. Even small misunderstandings potentially lead to damaged relationships or breakdowns of communication. Why do misunderstandings occur Our brains are continually trying to find patterns in the world and other people. If we spot a pattern, it makes…
Read More4 Steps to Say No Nicely
When we say no nicely it actually stops destructive conflict. Yet so often we say yes when we know that no is the right answer. Why we say yes when we should say no Sometimes we don’t say no because we fear upsetting others. We say yes without thinking it through. We get in the…
Read MoreProcrastination & Conflict: Don’t Delay Decisions
Ironically, my post on procrastination is actually a month late. I blame the flu… I’ve learned the hard way that dealing with things when they show up instead of when they blow up saves untold hassle. Sometimes we don’t decide based on optimism–things will get better. At other times, we delay deciding due to fear…
Read MoreUnfairness: What to Do?
Unfairness creates negative emotions and is a common cause of unhappiness and conflict. Think about how you feel when someone queue jumps or takes a double helping of your favourite food and leaves none for you or someone gets the job you feel you deserve. Reactions to Unfairness “Hard-wired” in the Brain Researcher Renee Baillargeon…
Read MoreHow random acts of kindness light up everyone’s life
Random acts of kindness may seem an eccentric and inefficient way of making the world a better place. Yet research shows that as well as cheering up the recipients, the givers benefit even more. The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer someone else up. – Mark Twain What are “random…
Read MoreWon’t Pay or Can’t Pay?
People who won’t pay cause small business owners more hassle than any other issue. Years ago, my husband and I owned a quick print business. I hadn’t realised how much chasing payment impacted my life until I overheard my daughter (6) and a friend playing shops: “Now we’ll just close the shop and then I will…
Read MoreWhen they won’t talk…
They won’t talk. We keep going in circles…I can’t do anything. As a mediator, I’m often asked ” But what can I do if they won’t talk to me? ” They feel stuck because the other people involved don’t want to talk. It’s frustrating and aggravating. And if you really believe that you can’t do anything,…
Read MoreLetting Go of Resentment: How & Why
Letting go of resentment is vital to healing. Yet it can be one of the hardest steps to take. We want others to see how much damage they caused. We believe they need to acknowledge our hurt before we allow ourselves to heal. So, most of us need to know why letting go of resentment…
Read MoreConflict First Aid 1: Protect what is important
As well as being a mediator, I teach and write about conflict first aid. What’s that? Well, it is like medical first aid–simple steps that anyone can do to help a person in a bad situation. The aims of medical first aid are to preserve life, prevent harm and promote recovery. The aims of conflict first…
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