Conflict coaching helps you to be your best self in conflict and stressful situations. Most people react to stress instinctively or in ingrained patterns learned from their childhood.
Are you happy with the way you respond to conflict? Does it give you the results you want?
Sometimes, learned responses work in one situation but not another. Or we respond well until our emotions kick in.
Perhaps you wish you could be more forceful.
On the other hand, perhaps you have been told that you are too aggressive. In some situations, it seems as though we have no control,
Conflict coaching helps you understand your behaviour, realise what you want to achieve and find the best way forward.
What Happens in a Conflict Coaching Session?
Conflict coaching starts with listening. Because every session is confidential, people feel free to share their thoughts. I listen without judging. When we share our thoughts with friends or family, subconsciously we censor our words. A conflict coach provides a rare opportunity to unload everything without worrying about the listener judging your actions. This is sometimes all that is needed to help someone sort out what they need to do. Once someone has told their story fully, they are able to look at it more objectively. Research shows that naming our emotions helps us take control of our feelings.
We are often so wrapped up in our version of events that we misinterpret the actions and words of others. For example, a client may say “How could she do that? She must hate me.” A useful question is “What other reason might she have for doing that?” or “What other evidence do you have that she hates you?”
Over the years and through research, I have built a toolbox of exercises. These are based on neuroscience, psychology and common sense. One of the most effective is the Pause Tool. You can try out some of these tools by downloading one of my free e-books (Just click on the relevant image). Because each person is different, different tools suit different clients and situations. As the client needs them, I introduce relevant tools and techniques. They end up with a customised package of exercises and strategies.
Once someone learns to manage emotions and gain new perspectives, they are able to see their own strengths and resources. By highlighting these, encouraging and giving confidence, conflict coaching enables people to take back control.