Negativity is natural. In all our lives there are the “mood-hoovers”, the “heart-sinkers” and the “dark clouds”. Those people who seem to be full of woe and keen to “rain on your parade. Dealing with Dementors JK Rowling describes an extreme version of this in her stories of the wizarding world. Get too near a…

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Conversations not confrontations

Conversations not Confrontations was designed in response to a request from an organisation after a mediation. The employees involved found the way the organisation had managed their differences had exacerbated the issues. They asked me to tell management that the “conversations not confrontations” approach of mediation was much better. I talked with the CEO and…

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Conflict coaching helps you to be your best self in conflict and stressful situations. Most people react to stress instinctively or in ingrained patterns learned from their childhood. Are you happy with the way you respond to conflict? Does it give you the results you want? Sometimes, learned responses work in one situation but not…

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Conflict Management training?!? Is it really necessary? It is essential. Why is Conflict Management Training Important? Conflict and disagreements are inevitable. The normal response is to fight, flight or freeze. Although useful if facing a sabre tooth tiger, this evolutionary instinct is not helpful in modern-day life. When we choose fighting, running away or ignoring…

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anticipation early resolution

Early resolution of disputes, disagreements and performance issues saves time, trouble and money.  There are many issues that people tolerate, hoping they will get better: a demanding boss, irritating colleague, battling boards, disagreeing directors or silent obstruction. Delaying a decision is making a decision to ignore the issue at least temporarily (More on this topic). …

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Small business disputes have a huge impact. In any organisation, disagreements and personality clashes cause problems. In her article on the cost of conflict, Andra Picincu lists 4 major issues: decreased productivity, loss of revenue, low morale and poor communication.  Other negative effects are increased absenteeism, staff resignation and mental health issues. However, when conflict…

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customer disputes

Customer disputes can cause havoc. For small businesses, one upset customer doesn’t just ruin your day, it could ruin your life if you don’t handle it carefully. Arguments over unmet expectations, unpaid bills or product quality add to the strain of managing a small business. Benefits of Mediation for Customer Disputes Customer disputes that end…

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When we don’t have control, most of us feel unsettled, angry and strive to get control. Whether it is a naughty child, an illness, financial problems or relationship issues, we all strive to be in control, to fix the situation. Yet our striving for control and solutions can make the situation worse instead of better.…

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unfairness sometimes works in our favour

Unfairness creates negative emotions and is a common cause of unhappiness and conflict. Think about how you feel when someone queue jumps or takes a double helping of your favourite food and leaves none for you or someone gets the job you feel you deserve. Reactions to Unfairness “Hard-wired” in the Brain Researcher Renee Baillargeon…

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Caring for elderly parents may bring a family together or tear them apart. As life expectancy grows, people in their 60s and 70s are still caring for parents, despite their own declining health.  People work for much longer now, often providing childcare for their grandchildren. Tiredness, ill health and family arguments add to the stress.…

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