say no

When we say no nicely it actually stops destructive conflict. Yet so often we say yes when we know that no is the right answer. Why we say yes when we should say no Sometimes we don’t say no because we fear upsetting others. We say yes without thinking it through. We get in the…

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Conflict coaching

Conflict coaching helps you to be your best self in conflict and stressful situations. Most people react to stress instinctively or in ingrained patterns learned from their childhood. Are you happy with the way you respond to conflict? Does it give you the results you want? Sometimes, learned responses work in one situation but not…

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anticipation early resolution

Early resolution of disputes, disagreements and performance issues saves time, trouble and money.  There are many issues that people tolerate, hoping they will get better: a demanding boss, irritating colleague, battling boards, disagreeing directors or silent obstruction. Delaying a decision is making a decision to ignore the issue at least temporarily (More on this topic). …

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When we don’t have control, most of us feel unsettled, angry and strive to get control. Whether it is a naughty child, an illness, financial problems or relationship issues, we all strive to be in control, to fix the situation. Yet our striving for control and solutions can make the situation worse instead of better.…

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unfairness sometimes works in our favour

Unfairness creates negative emotions and is a common cause of unhappiness and conflict. Think about how you feel when someone queue jumps or takes a double helping of your favourite food and leaves none for you or someone gets the job you feel you deserve. Reactions to Unfairness “Hard-wired” in the Brain Researcher Renee Baillargeon…

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Caring for elderly parents may bring a family together or tear them apart. As life expectancy grows, people in their 60s and 70s are still caring for parents, despite their own declining health.  People work for much longer now, often providing childcare for their grandchildren. Tiredness, ill health and family arguments add to the stress.…

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nancy virtual coffee

The joys of live online interaction are so great, that I’d like to share them with you. Tomorrow, I will enjoy a cup of coffee with a friend–who lives thousands of miles away. It’s not as good as being there in real life. (For a start, she makes great coffee and usually has some home-baked…

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manage annoyances well

I’ve written before about how random acts of kindness can make a huge difference to others and boost your own happiness. In this blog, I’ll write about how little things can cause big problems. Like a dropped match that lights a wildfire, small irritations, if not addressed, can flare into major confrontations. Manage annoyances well…

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get back up

How much of today do we waste regretting yesterday? What is stopping us from leaving the past behind and moving on?  Why do we nurse our grudges and hang on to old injuries? Or are we not even aware that we are doing it? Here is a quiz to help you figure out where you…

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difficult people the grinch

I’m often asked how to manage difficult people, especially at this time of year, when we feel obliged to interact with people we normally avoid. If only life was like the story of the  Grinch who stole Christmas. via GIPHY With a bit of magic and a different viewpoint, horrible people could be transformed into lovely…

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