Online Mediation: Can a computer bring peace?

  Are you quietly seething at what a colleague or loved one said? Have you suppressed your anger and irritation for so long that you feel ready to explode? Are relationships at work brittle? Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? Online mediation might be the solution, particularly if you work remotely, or are…

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How To Reduce Misunderstanding

Reduce misunderstanding–is that possible? Most of the conflicts I deal with as a mediator start with a misunderstanding. Even small misunderstandings potentially lead to damaged relationships or breakdowns of communication. Why do misunderstandings occur Our brains are continually trying to find patterns in the world and other people. If we spot a pattern, it makes…

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Making Myself Redundant

making myself redundant

As a parent, manager and mediator, my mission has always been making myself redundant. Seem strange? Especially as I am someone that needs to be needed and as a self-employed person only earn money when people to use my services. So why do I have this seemingly self-destructive tendency? It’s a choice between leaving a…

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4 Steps to Say No Nicely

say no

When we say no nicely it actually stops destructive conflict. Yet so often we say yes when we know that no is the right answer. Why we say yes when we should say no Sometimes we don’t say no because we fear upsetting others. We say yes without thinking it through. We get in the…

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Conflict Coaching

Conflict coaching

Conflict coaching helps you to be your best self in conflict and stressful situations. Most people react to stress instinctively or in ingrained patterns learned from their childhood. Are you happy with the way you respond to conflict? Does it give you the results you want? Sometimes, learned responses work in one situation but not…

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Early Resolution: Conflict First Aid

anticipation early resolution

Early resolution of disputes, disagreements and performance issues saves time, trouble and money.  There are many issues that people tolerate, hoping they will get better: a demanding boss, irritating colleague, battling boards, disagreeing directors or silent obstruction. Delaying a decision is making a decision to ignore the issue at least temporarily (More on this topic). …

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When You Don’t have Control

When we don’t have control, most of us feel unsettled, angry and strive to get control. Whether it is a naughty child, an illness, financial problems or relationship issues, we all strive to be in control, to fix the situation. Yet our striving for control and solutions can make the situation worse instead of better.…

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Unfairness: What to Do?

unfairness sometimes works in our favour

Unfairness creates negative emotions and is a common cause of unhappiness and conflict. Think about how you feel when someone queue jumps or takes a double helping of your favourite food and leaves none for you or someone gets the job you feel you deserve. Reactions to Unfairness “Hard-wired” in the Brain Researcher Renee Baillargeon…

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Caring for Elderly Parents: A Source of Conflict?

Caring for elderly parents may bring a family together or tear them apart. As life expectancy grows, people in their 60s and 70s are still caring for parents, despite their own declining health.  People work for much longer now, often providing childcare for their grandchildren. Tiredness, ill health and family arguments add to the stress.…

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The joys of being live online…and benefits for business

nancy virtual coffee

The joys of live online interaction are so great, that I’d like to share them with you. Tomorrow, I will enjoy a cup of coffee with a friend–who lives thousands of miles away. It’s not as good as being there in real life. (For a start, she makes great coffee and usually has some home-baked…

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