relationships

When they won’t talk…

They won’t talk. We keep going in circles…I can’t do anything.  As a mediator, I’m often asked ” But what can I do if they won’t talk to me? ” They feel stuck because the other people involved don’t want to talk. It’s frustrating and aggravating. And if you really believe that you can’t do anything,…

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Imperfection: Beauty in the process

Cake-Imperfection or Beauty

 Imperfection everywhere The more you look, the more imperfection you see. The sun shining through the window can lift your spirits or make you see they need to be cleaned. Our urge to make things better is good, isn’t it? We all want a perfect world, and if it wasn’t for all those other people…

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Letting Go of Resentment: How & Why

letting go of resentment Don't carry a grudge

Letting go of resentment is vital to healing. Yet it can be one of the hardest steps to take. We want others to see how much damage they caused. We believe they need to acknowledge our hurt before we allow ourselves to heal. So, most of us need to know why letting go of resentment…

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Restore Relationships: Conflict First Aid 3

Damaging or restoring relationships

When things go wrong and people get hurt, medical first aid is essential. The same is true for conflict first aid. The aims of medical first aid are to preserve life, prevent harm and promote recovery. The aims of conflict first aid are to protect what is important, prevent harm and restore relationships.In my last…

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Prevent Harm: Conflict First Aid 2

prevent harm conflict resolution

The aim of conflict first aid is to protect what is important, prevent harm and promote restoration of relationships.  As in medical first aid, there are simple steps that anyone can do to make sure the situation doesn’t deteriorate. My last blog gave 3 tips on how to protect what is important.  Those of you who…

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Proving Who’s Right: Truth or a Piece of It?

Recently we have had several family get-togethers. Our family, like most, have wide-ranging views and love debating them. Proving who’s right suddenly changes the mood of a casual chat to something less pleasant. It may be the best route to the sea-side or our political views, but we are sure that we are right and…

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Pause is a key tool in managing life

Recently I relearned how valuable it is to pause and be mindful. The last three weeks were stressful as we had a family bereavement and there was also a great demand for mediation. In my work,  it’s important to sort things out swiftly and compassionately for clients. In trying to support family, clients and workload, I stopped…

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Maintaining Good Relationships: Lessons from Blackberries

blackberries give ideas for maintaining good relationships

What does blackberry picking have to do with maintaining good relationships? At this time of year, blackberries are an irresistible temptation to me. I cannot help but pick them, so I always keep a plastic bag in my jacket pocket. Going for a walk is much more exciting and fulfilling when you come back with a…

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Prevent Conflict & Avoid Damage

We all want to prevent conflict, and avoid getting hurt. It’s great to work in a place where people trust you to get on with your job. We like bosses who leave us to it and praise us, not those who criticise. Most of us dislike paperwork and bureaucracy.  Yet so often, the organisations with lovely bosses…

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