problems at work

How to Manage Anger Well

How should we manage anger well? Should we let it rip? Or shut it down, show self-control? Speak up or stay silent? Both have advantages and disadvantages. Read here about how to decide whether to speak up or stay silent. If we are prone to angry outbursts, we listen to the reasons why we should…

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Why can’t they see the truth?

same truth, different angles

When we argue, our truth seems so obvious. We ask ourselves “Why can’t they see the truth?” Or we accuse them of lying. This makes us even more determined to prove that we are right. We appeal to friends, colleagues, strangers to agree with us and help us prove the other person wrong. Research and…

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Get Invoices Paid on Time

get invoices paid on time

So how do you get invoices paid on time? No one likes talking about money, but everyone like having it. . Even if you have full order books, you need money to pay suppliers. Keeping the cash flowing in is essential for all businesses. So what can you do to avoid late or non-payment? As…

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When they won’t talk…

They won’t talk. We keep going in circles…I can’t do anything.  As a mediator, I’m often asked ” But what can I do if they won’t talk to me? ” They feel stuck because the other people involved don’t want to talk. It’s frustrating and aggravating. And if you really believe that you can’t do anything,…

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Restore Relationships: Conflict First Aid 3

Damaging or restoring relationships

When things go wrong and people get hurt, medical first aid is essential. The same is true for conflict first aid. The aims of medical first aid are to preserve life, prevent harm and promote recovery. The aims of conflict first aid are to protect what is important, prevent harm and restore relationships.In my last…

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Prevent Harm: Conflict First Aid 2

prevent harm conflict resolution

The aim of conflict first aid is to protect what is important, prevent harm and promote restoration of relationships.  As in medical first aid, there are simple steps that anyone can do to make sure the situation doesn’t deteriorate. My last blog gave 3 tips on how to protect what is important.  Those of you who…

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Maintaining Good Relationships: Lessons from Blackberries

blackberries give ideas for maintaining good relationships

What does blackberry picking have to do with maintaining good relationships? At this time of year, blackberries are an irresistible temptation to me. I cannot help but pick them, so I always keep a plastic bag in my jacket pocket. Going for a walk is much more exciting and fulfilling when you come back with a…

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Prevent Conflict & Avoid Damage

We all want to prevent conflict, and avoid getting hurt. It’s great to work in a place where people trust you to get on with your job. We like bosses who leave us to it and praise us, not those who criticise. Most of us dislike paperwork and bureaucracy.  Yet so often, the organisations with lovely bosses…

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Solve Disagreements: Lessons from Martial Art

Manage Emotions, Assess. Respect, Trust, I statements, Listening

You don’t have to learn a martial art to pick up tips from them on how to solve disagreements…just know some principles and apply them. You don’t need to be coordinated or fit. The discipline and calm will follow as you learn the key principles. Key Principles to Solve Disagreements Like any martial art, there…

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Saying No Nicely: Setting Boundaries

communication problems

Mediators often describe themselves as breaking down walls and building bridges, and “Getting Past No“. So why do I think saying no is important? Well, it because one of the most common causes of conflict is unclear boundaries. Another is broken promises or unfulfilled expectations. Many of these situations would not have occurred if people…

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