Mediation

Neighbour Problems: How to avoid them

A5 Get Your Story StraightNeighbour problems steal your sanity. They turn mild-mannered people into raging tigers.  Too often, minor issues become major ones and the problem escalates.  So how can we avoid getting caught up in disputes with our neighbours? What are the most common issues that cause neighbour problems? What can we do if problems…

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Conflict First Aid 1: Protect what is important

conflict first aid

As well as being a mediator, I teach and write about conflict first aid. What’s that? Well, it is like medical first aid–simple steps that anyone can do to help a person in a bad situation. The aims of medical first aid are to preserve life, prevent harm and promote recovery. The aims of conflict first…

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When Friends Argue Should You Get Involved?

When colleagues or friends argue, what do you do? Suddenly you have to watch your step–walking on eggshells, or in the worst case scenarios, it feels like negotiating a minefield. So what do you do? Are you a dashing deer, a terrified tortoise, a tolerant teddy or fix it fox? There is a better way! First,…

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Starting Awkward Conversations: Lessons from Taking a Bath

What baths can teach us about starting awkward conversations

  All down to Bubbles in Bishop The common view of a mediator and conflict management coach is someone who stops people arguing or teaches someone to control their temper. I do that, however, I spend just as much time starting awkward conversations and helping people speak up effectively. You may wonder how I connected baths…

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Online Mediation: Can a computer bring peace?

  Are you quietly seething at what a colleague or loved one said? Have you suppressed your anger and irritation for so long that you feel ready to explode? Are relationships at work brittle? Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? Online mediation might be the solution, particularly if you work remotely, or are…

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Starting a Sensitive Discussion–Some Hints

No one likes to be the one starting a sensitive discussion. We’ve all been there..everyone thinks someone should say something, anybody could, but no one does….and then it all goes wrong. That’s why these situations are described as “the elephant in the room” –it’s too big to talk about and if no one says anything,…

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Listening–it’s magic

Want to win clients, gain influence and find friends? Stop talking and start listening… There is so much noise out there, so many people shouting about how great they are–and what do people really want? They want to be heard, they want someone to listen. If you are listening, really listening, you are working magic.…

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Giving Bad News in a Good Way

We all like to be liked and thought of as kind people, so resist giving bad news or negative feedback. We tend to put it off, sugar coat it or do the infamous “feedback sandwich.” (Adam Grant on why the feedback sandwich doesn’t work) Most of these tactics actually make it worse. So we avoid talking…

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When Good People Fall Out

” I don’t understand why they have fallen out–they are both good people and I don’t want to lose either. But I can’t stand the atmosphere at work anymore!” How often do you hear this? I hear it on a regular basis. It seems that managers feel “good people” should know how to get along–but it isn’t…

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Revenge or Forgiveness?

Injured animals either  lash out or cower away. Humans have another choice. When we are hurt, we choose revenge or forgiveness or flight. For thousands of years, mercy and forgiveness have been seen as virtues, helping to heal and build civilised societies. Recent studies have found that forgiving others actually benefits us as much if not more…

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