difficult people

How to Manage Anger Well

How should we manage anger well? Should we let it rip? Or shut it down, show self-control? Speak up or stay silent? Both have advantages and disadvantages. Read here about how to decide whether to speak up or stay silent. If we are prone to angry outbursts, we listen to the reasons why we should…

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How random acts of kindness light up everyone’s life

Random acts of kindness may seem an eccentric and inefficient way of making the world a better place. Yet research shows that as well as cheering up the recipients, the givers benefit even more. The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer someone else up. – Mark Twain What are “random…

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Neighbour Problems: How to avoid them

A5 Get Your Story StraightNeighbour problems steal your sanity. They turn mild-mannered people into raging tigers.  Too often, minor issues become major ones and the problem escalates.  So how can we avoid getting caught up in disputes with our neighbours? What are the most common issues that cause neighbour problems? What can we do if problems…

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Imperfection: Beauty in the process

Cake-Imperfection or Beauty

 Imperfection everywhere The more you look, the more imperfection you see. The sun shining through the window can lift your spirits or make you see they need to be cleaned. Our urge to make things better is good, isn’t it? We all want a perfect world, and if it wasn’t for all those other people…

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Letting Go of Resentment: How & Why

letting go of resentment Don't carry a grudge

Letting go of resentment is vital to healing. Yet it can be one of the hardest steps to take. We want others to see how much damage they caused. We believe they need to acknowledge our hurt before we allow ourselves to heal. So, most of us need to know why letting go of resentment…

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Restore Relationships: Conflict First Aid 3

Damaging or restoring relationships

When things go wrong and people get hurt, medical first aid is essential. The same is true for conflict first aid. The aims of medical first aid are to preserve life, prevent harm and promote recovery. The aims of conflict first aid are to protect what is important, prevent harm and restore relationships.In my last…

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Prevent Harm: Conflict First Aid 2

prevent harm conflict resolution

The aim of conflict first aid is to protect what is important, prevent harm and promote restoration of relationships.  As in medical first aid, there are simple steps that anyone can do to make sure the situation doesn’t deteriorate. My last blog gave 3 tips on how to protect what is important.  Those of you who…

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When Someone Refuses Help

mother, refuses help

Louisa looked exhausted and frazzled. My look of concern and simple “how are you” resulted in a flood of tears. As well as work and teenagers, she was trying to support her elderly mother who refuses help from everyone. She is so stubborn and independent. She won’t tell me if she is ill, she won’t…

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Elderly Parents: It’s not easy

Elderly Parents Why is it hard

Managing change is always hard. Combine that with emotion, ageing and family relationships and it is not surprising that one of the most frequent questions I am asked is “How can I improve my relationship with my elderly parents?” Often parents reject offered help, despite obviously struggling. In other cases, a parent will demand more…

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Solve Disagreements: Lessons from Martial Art

Manage Emotions, Assess. Respect, Trust, I statements, Listening

You don’t have to learn a martial art to pick up tips from them on how to solve disagreements…just know some principles and apply them. You don’t need to be coordinated or fit. The discipline and calm will follow as you learn the key principles. Key Principles to Solve Disagreements Like any martial art, there…

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