Conversations

Imperfection: Beauty in the process

Cake-Imperfection or Beauty

 Imperfection everywhere The more you look, the more imperfection you see. The sun shining through the window can lift your spirits or make you see they need to be cleaned. Our urge to make things better is good, isn’t it? We all want a perfect world, and if it wasn’t for all those other people…

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Pause is a key tool in managing life

Recently I relearned how valuable it is to pause and be mindful. The last three weeks were stressful as we had a family bereavement and there was also a great demand for mediation. In my work,  it’s important to sort things out swiftly and compassionately for clients. In trying to support family, clients and workload, I stopped…

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Maintaining Good Relationships: Lessons from Blackberries

blackberries give ideas for maintaining good relationships

What does blackberry picking have to do with maintaining good relationships? At this time of year, blackberries are an irresistible temptation to me. I cannot help but pick them, so I always keep a plastic bag in my jacket pocket. Going for a walk is much more exciting and fulfilling when you come back with a…

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What kind of animal are you when you say no?

What kind of animal are you when you say no?

Evolution has hardwired us to react to challenge in three instinctive ways: fight flight or freeze. In other words, we get mad, run away or ignore issues. When you have to say no, if we aren’t ready, this instinct will kick in and we default back to one of these three responses.  We know beforehand…

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When Friends Argue Should You Get Involved?

When colleagues or friends argue, what do you do? Suddenly you have to watch your step–walking on eggshells, or in the worst case scenarios, it feels like negotiating a minefield. So what do you do? Are you a dashing deer, a terrified tortoise, a tolerant teddy or fix it fox? There is a better way! First,…

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Moving Out and Moving On: Tips for Parents

moving out and moving on

The temperature’s rising, the pollen count is high and exams are stressing parents and students.  Lurking under the surface is the knowledge that life is going to change dramatically after exams. People expect everyone to welcome moving out and moving on. So no one wants to mention fears or problems. Everyone puts on a relentlessly positive…

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Why is asking for help so hard? Tips to do it well.

asking for help Ask, accept, acknowledge

I have a confession to make. I like many others am a help addict. We get a buzz out of helping others, and sometimes forget to let others have the chance to get that buzz. We hate asking for help but love giving. What do I mean? At a networking event, the delicious array on the…

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Why being reasonable doesn’t always work

rational, reasonable

If you are starting a conversation to change someone’s mind with the words “If only you would be reasonable…” or “It’s just common sense…” I’ve got bad news for you…it won’t work. Because what the other person hears is “You are mad and unreasonable” “You aren’t as sensible as everyone else” How would you react?…

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Changing People Who Don’t Want to Change

don't want change

I want to sort this out, but (insert name here) just doesn’t want to do anything. It would be great if we could just discuss the situation, but (insert name here) doesn’t want to talk about it. I try to be reasonable, but (insert name here) is just so difficult. So, mediation isn’t an option, is it?…

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Keeping the Peace at Christmas

Christmas peace, winter sunset

  Keeping the Peace at Christmas What’s important to you this Christmas? Is it making sure the kids are happy? is it keeping the peace between your brothers and sisters?What about making sure you don’t argue with your mother-in-law? And then there’s the presents and the food… Does the whole idea make you grumpy? Christmas…

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