conflict resolution

Prevent Harm: Conflict First Aid 2

prevent harm conflict resolution

The aim of conflict first aid is to protect what is important, prevent harm and promote restoration of relationships.  As in medical first aid, there are simple steps that anyone can do to make sure the situation doesn’t deteriorate. My last blog gave 3 tips on how to protect what is important.  Those of you who…

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Conflict First Aid 1: Protect what is important

conflict first aid

As well as being a mediator, I teach and write about conflict first aid. What’s that? Well, it is like medical first aid–simple steps that anyone can do to help a person in a bad situation. The aims of medical first aid are to preserve life, prevent harm and promote recovery. The aims of conflict first…

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Prevent Conflict & Avoid Damage

We all want to prevent conflict, and avoid getting hurt. It’s great to work in a place where people trust you to get on with your job. We like bosses who leave us to it and praise us, not those who criticise. Most of us dislike paperwork and bureaucracy.  Yet so often, the organisations with lovely bosses…

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Solve Disagreements: Lessons from Martial Art

Manage Emotions, Assess. Respect, Trust, I statements, Listening

You don’t have to learn a martial art to pick up tips from them on how to solve disagreements…just know some principles and apply them. You don’t need to be coordinated or fit. The discipline and calm will follow as you learn the key principles. Key Principles to Solve Disagreements Like any martial art, there…

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Saying No Nicely: Setting Boundaries

communication problems

Mediators often describe themselves as breaking down walls and building bridges, and “Getting Past No“. So why do I think saying no is important? Well, it because one of the most common causes of conflict is unclear boundaries. Another is broken promises or unfulfilled expectations. Many of these situations would not have occurred if people…

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What kind of animal are you when you say no?

What kind of animal are you when you say no?

Evolution has hardwired us to react to challenge in three instinctive ways: fight flight or freeze. In other words, we get mad, run away or ignore issues. When you have to say no, if we aren’t ready, this instinct will kick in and we default back to one of these three responses.  We know beforehand…

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When Friends Argue Should You Get Involved?

When colleagues or friends argue, what do you do? Suddenly you have to watch your step–walking on eggshells, or in the worst case scenarios, it feels like negotiating a minefield. So what do you do? Are you a dashing deer, a terrified tortoise, a tolerant teddy or fix it fox? There is a better way! First,…

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Someone Driving You Crazy? Take Back Control

Driving you crazy?

Colleagues driving you crazy? Or is it the kids? Or is your family driving you crazy? The good news is: it doesn’t have to be that way. The bad news is: if you want to change it, you’ll have to take some action. Stop “wearing the victim t-shirt” and start the diagnosis. Or you could…

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Should conflict be avoided? Is no conflict healthy?

Is no conflict healthy

Walking around Stirling in Scotland, I saw the sign below on a building which many years ago housed a home for abandoned boys. It reminded me of all the families, couples and firms that live by the no quarrelling rule,  extending it to cover any passionate disagreements. But is no conflict healthy? Or is it…

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Making the best of it: It’s how you play your hand

Making the best of it mixed up

Making the Best of It Over the recent bank holiday, I hope you’ve had time to relax and do something different, as I’ve had. I entertained,  walked in woods bursting out in bloom, played board games and worked on puzzles. One of the puzzles was a series of anagrams, no clues, just anagrams. I was…

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