Misunderstanding: All the right words…in the wrong order?

Misunderstanding causes confusion, chaos and conflict. It reminds me of that wonderful quote from Morecambe and Wise He played all the right notes, just not necessarily in the right order. No matter how carefully we choose our words and how intently we listen, miscommunication still happens. There are a couple of reasons for this. Understanding…

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Online Mediation: Can a computer bring peace?

  Are you quietly seething at what a colleague or loved one said? Have you suppressed your anger and irritation for so long that you feel ready to explode? Are relationships at work brittle? Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? Online mediation might be the solution, particularly if you work remotely, or are…

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Justice and Judgement

judging and influencing

Do we want justice or judgement? Most people want justice–at least for themselves. Human beings are continually judging situations, themselves and others. Often we confuse the two. Children have a strong sense of justice. When someone does something wrong, they insist on punishment or recompense. Deep inside, we all tend to agree, even if we…

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Pebbles and difficult decisions

difficult decisions

One of the difficult decisions we face every weekend is where to go! Durham is within easy reach of cities, mountains, woods, moors and the seaside. As well as gorgeous sandy beaches (not many blackened by coal now), the North East of England coast has ones lots of interesting rocks and pebbles. So after some…

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Conflict Coaching

Conflict coaching

Conflict coaching helps you to be your best self in conflict and stressful situations. Most people react to stress instinctively or in ingrained patterns learned from their childhood. Are you happy with the way you respond to conflict? Does it give you the results you want? Sometimes, learned responses work in one situation but not…

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Conflict Management Training & Workshops

Conflict Management training?!? Is it really necessary? It is essential. Why is Conflict Management Training Important? Conflict and disagreements are inevitable. The normal response is to fight, flight or freeze. Although useful if facing a sabre tooth tiger, this evolutionary instinct is not helpful in modern-day life. When we choose fighting, running away or ignoring…

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Small Business Disputes

Small business disputes have a huge impact. In any organisation, disagreements and personality clashes cause problems. In her article on the cost of conflict, Andra Picincu lists 4 major issues: decreased productivity, loss of revenue, low morale and poor communication.  Other negative effects are increased absenteeism, staff resignation and mental health issues. However, when conflict…

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Procrastination & Conflict: Don’t Delay Decisions

procrastination?

Ironically, my post on procrastination is actually a month late. I blame the flu… I’ve learned the hard way that dealing with things when they show up instead of when they blow up saves untold hassle. Sometimes we don’t decide based on optimism–things will get better. At other times, we delay deciding due to fear…

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When You Don’t have Control

When we don’t have control, most of us feel unsettled, angry and strive to get control. Whether it is a naughty child, an illness, financial problems or relationship issues, we all strive to be in control, to fix the situation. Yet our striving for control and solutions can make the situation worse instead of better.…

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Unfairness: What to Do?

unfairness sometimes works in our favour

Unfairness creates negative emotions and is a common cause of unhappiness and conflict. Think about how you feel when someone queue jumps or takes a double helping of your favourite food and leaves none for you or someone gets the job you feel you deserve. Reactions to Unfairness “Hard-wired” in the Brain Researcher Renee Baillargeon…

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