asking for help

How to Manage Anger Well

How should we manage anger well? Should we let it rip? Or shut it down, show self-control? Speak up or stay silent? Both have advantages and disadvantages. Read here about how to decide whether to speak up or stay silent. If we are prone to angry outbursts, we listen to the reasons why we should…

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When they won’t talk…

They won’t talk. We keep going in circles…I can’t do anything.  As a mediator, I’m often asked ” But what can I do if they won’t talk to me? ” They feel stuck because the other people involved don’t want to talk. It’s frustrating and aggravating. And if you really believe that you can’t do anything,…

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Conflict First Aid 1: Protect what is important

conflict first aid

As well as being a mediator, I teach and write about conflict first aid. What’s that? Well, it is like medical first aid–simple steps that anyone can do to help a person in a bad situation. The aims of medical first aid are to preserve life, prevent harm and promote recovery. The aims of conflict first…

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When Someone Refuses Help

mother, refuses help

Louisa looked exhausted and frazzled. My look of concern and simple “how are you” resulted in a flood of tears. As well as work and teenagers, she was trying to support her elderly mother who refuses help from everyone. She is so stubborn and independent. She won’t tell me if she is ill, she won’t…

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Elderly Parents: It’s not easy

Elderly Parents Why is it hard

Managing change is always hard. Combine that with emotion, ageing and family relationships and it is not surprising that one of the most frequent questions I am asked is “How can I improve my relationship with my elderly parents?” Often parents reject offered help, despite obviously struggling. In other cases, a parent will demand more…

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Pause is a key tool in managing life

Recently I relearned how valuable it is to pause and be mindful. The last three weeks were stressful as we had a family bereavement and there was also a great demand for mediation. In my work,  it’s important to sort things out swiftly and compassionately for clients. In trying to support family, clients and workload, I stopped…

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Prevent Conflict & Avoid Damage

We all want to prevent conflict, and avoid getting hurt. It’s great to work in a place where people trust you to get on with your job. We like bosses who leave us to it and praise us, not those who criticise. Most of us dislike paperwork and bureaucracy.  Yet so often, the organisations with lovely bosses…

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Leaving Home? Excited but Doubtful?

Doubtful?

You’ve been thinking about leaving home for such a long time. Everyone says how excited you must be about the new opportunity. You are, and yet…behind the happy face, you have some worries. Excited but Doubtful You don’t want to say anything to your parents because your mum is already sure that you will starve…

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Sticking your neck out

sticking your neck out

Thinking about sticking your neck out and changing things? Feeling reluctant and a bit ashamed of being scared? Don’t be. Humans naturally resist change. Evolution hardwired us to be wary when our surroundings are different. This instinct has meant humanity has survived. Yet sometimes, sticking your neck out is the only way to move forward. We…

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