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Imperfection: Beauty in the process
Imperfection everywhere The more you look, the more imperfection you see. The sun shining through the window can lift your spirits or make you see they need to be cleaned. Our urge to make things better is good, isn’t it? We all want a perfect world, and if it wasn’t for all those other people…
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Letting Go of Resentment: How & Why
Letting go of resentment is vital to healing. Yet it can be one of the hardest steps to take. We want others to see how much damage they caused. We believe they need to acknowledge our hurt before we allow ourselves to heal. So, most of us need to know why letting go of resentment…
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Restore Relationships: Conflict First Aid 3
When things go wrong and people get hurt, medical first aid is essential. The same is true for conflict first aid. The aims of medical first aid are to preserve life, prevent harm and promote recovery. The aims of conflict first aid are to protect what is important, prevent harm and restore relationships.In my last…
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Prevent Harm: Conflict First Aid 2
The aim of conflict first aid is to protect what is important, prevent harm and promote restoration of relationships. As in medical first aid, there are simple steps that anyone can do to make sure the situation doesn’t deteriorate. My last blog gave 3 tips on how to protect what is important. Those of you who…
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Conflict First Aid 1: Protect what is important
As well as being a mediator, I teach and write about conflict first aid. What’s that? Well, it is like medical first aid–simple steps that anyone can do to help a person in a bad situation. The aims of medical first aid are to preserve life, prevent harm and promote recovery. The aims of conflict first…
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Over-committed and struggling with self-compassion? 3 different solutions
I thought this would be a quiet week. I would get caught up with reading and have time to spend sorting out my new website. Then, a flurry of requests from friends, relatives, colleagues, and students. I felt unappreciated and overcommitted,unable to have self-compassion. This is a common issue, particularly for people with elderly relatives,…
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When Someone Refuses Help
Louisa looked exhausted and frazzled. My look of concern and simple “how are you” resulted in a flood of tears. As well as work and teenagers, she was trying to support her elderly mother who refuses help from everyone. She is so stubborn and independent. She won’t tell me if she is ill, she won’t…
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Elderly Parents: It’s not easy
Managing change is always hard. Combine that with emotion, ageing and family relationships and it is not surprising that one of the most frequent questions I am asked is “How can I improve my relationship with my elderly parents?” Often parents reject offered help, despite obviously struggling. In other cases, a parent will demand more…
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Proving Who’s Right: Truth or a Piece of It?
Recently we have had several family get-togethers. Our family, like most, have wide-ranging views and love debating them. Proving who’s right suddenly changes the mood of a casual chat to something less pleasant. It may be the best route to the sea-side or our political views, but we are sure that we are right and…
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Pause is a key tool in managing life
Recently I relearned how valuable it is to pause and be mindful. The last three weeks were stressful as we had a family bereavement and there was also a great demand for mediation. In my work, it’s important to sort things out swiftly and compassionately for clients. In trying to support family, clients and workload, I stopped…
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