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Elderly Parents: It’s not easy
Managing change is always hard. Combine that with emotion, ageing and family relationships and it is not surprising that one of the most frequent questions I am asked is “How can I improve my relationship with my elderly parents?” Often parents reject offered help, despite obviously struggling. In other cases, a parent will demand more…
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Proving Who’s Right: Truth or a Piece of It?
Recently we have had several family get-togethers. Our family, like most, have wide-ranging views and love debating them. Proving who’s right suddenly changes the mood of a casual chat to something less pleasant. It may be the best route to the sea-side or our political views, but we are sure that we are right and…
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Pause is a key tool in managing life
Recently I relearned how valuable it is to pause and be mindful. The last three weeks were stressful as we had a family bereavement and there was also a great demand for mediation. In my work, it’s important to sort things out swiftly and compassionately for clients. In trying to support family, clients and workload, I stopped…
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Maintaining Good Relationships: Lessons from Blackberries
What does blackberry picking have to do with maintaining good relationships? At this time of year, blackberries are an irresistible temptation to me. I cannot help but pick them, so I always keep a plastic bag in my jacket pocket. Going for a walk is much more exciting and fulfilling when you come back with a…
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ABC of Ways to Cheer Yourself Up
Feeling down in the dumps after your holiday? Or depressed that you didn’t get away? If you are working and most people aren’t it’s easy to feel miserable. Everyone else seems to be off, regular routines are disrupted, and nothing seems quite right. Credit cards are maxed out, we feel sluggish and things seem a…
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Solve Disagreements: Lessons from Martial Art
You don’t have to learn a martial art to pick up tips from them on how to solve disagreements…just know some principles and apply them. You don’t need to be coordinated or fit. The discipline and calm will follow as you learn the key principles. Key Principles to Solve Disagreements Like any martial art, there…
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Leaving Home? Excited but Doubtful?
You’ve been thinking about leaving home for such a long time. Everyone says how excited you must be about the new opportunity. You are, and yet…behind the happy face, you have some worries. Excited but Doubtful You don’t want to say anything to your parents because your mum is already sure that you will starve…
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Saying No Nicely: Setting Boundaries
Mediators often describe themselves as breaking down walls and building bridges, and “Getting Past No“. So why do I think saying no is important? Well, it because one of the most common causes of conflict is unclear boundaries. Another is broken promises or unfulfilled expectations. Many of these situations would not have occurred if people…
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What kind of animal are you when you say no?
Evolution has hardwired us to react to challenge in three instinctive ways: fight flight or freeze. In other words, we get mad, run away or ignore issues. When you have to say no, if we aren’t ready, this instinct will kick in and we default back to one of these three responses. We know beforehand…
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