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Prevent Harm: Conflict First Aid 2
The aim of conflict first aid is to protect what is important, prevent harm and promote restoration of relationships. As in medical first aid, there are simple steps that anyone can do to make sure the situation doesn’t deteriorate. My last blog gave 3 tips on how to protect what is important. Those of you who…
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Conflict First Aid 1: Protect what is important
As well as being a mediator, I teach and write about conflict first aid. What’s that? Well, it is like medical first aid–simple steps that anyone can do to help a person in a bad situation. The aims of medical first aid are to preserve life, prevent harm and promote recovery. The aims of conflict first…
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Over-committed and struggling with self-compassion? 3 different solutions
I thought this would be a quiet week. I would get caught up with reading and have time to spend sorting out my new website. Then, a flurry of requests from friends, relatives, colleagues, and students. I felt unappreciated and overcommitted,unable to have self-compassion. This is a common issue, particularly for people with elderly relatives,…
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When Someone Refuses Help
Louisa looked exhausted and frazzled. My look of concern and simple “how are you” resulted in a flood of tears. As well as work and teenagers, she was trying to support her elderly mother who refuses help from everyone. She is so stubborn and independent. She won’t tell me if she is ill, she won’t…
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Elderly Parents: It’s not easy
Managing change is always hard. Combine that with emotion, ageing and family relationships and it is not surprising that one of the most frequent questions I am asked is “How can I improve my relationship with my elderly parents?” Often parents reject offered help, despite obviously struggling. In other cases, a parent will demand more…
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Proving Who’s Right: Truth or a Piece of It?
Recently we have had several family get-togethers. Our family, like most, have wide-ranging views and love debating them. Proving who’s right suddenly changes the mood of a casual chat to something less pleasant. It may be the best route to the sea-side or our political views, but we are sure that we are right and…
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Pause is a key tool in managing life
Recently I relearned how valuable it is to pause and be mindful. The last three weeks were stressful as we had a family bereavement and there was also a great demand for mediation. In my work, it’s important to sort things out swiftly and compassionately for clients. In trying to support family, clients and workload, I stopped…
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Maintaining Good Relationships: Lessons from Blackberries
What does blackberry picking have to do with maintaining good relationships? At this time of year, blackberries are an irresistible temptation to me. I cannot help but pick them, so I always keep a plastic bag in my jacket pocket. Going for a walk is much more exciting and fulfilling when you come back with a…
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ABC of Ways to Cheer Yourself Up
Feeling down in the dumps after your holiday? Or depressed that you didn’t get away? If you are working and most people aren’t it’s easy to feel miserable. Everyone else seems to be off, regular routines are disrupted, and nothing seems quite right. Credit cards are maxed out, we feel sluggish and things seem a…
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